Our love is taken for granted, kinship carers say
BBCFamilies who had minutes to make the decision to look after a child have said there needs to be more support for others in their position.
Kinship care sees a family member or friend step in to bring up a child and keep them out of the care system.
Six months after the Reverend Paul Kerry and his wife Gaby, from Cumbria, became the godparents of a little girl, they were contacted by social services asking them to care for her for a weekend.
"It feels for kinship carers like our love for the child is taken for granted a little bit and therefore assumed to be a place where finances and support will continue to be offered regardless of whether wider support is in place," he said.
The weekend stay at their Whitehaven home turned into a long-term arrangement when three-year-old Sidney's mother died in January.
The couple, who already have four children of their own, said the addition of their kinship daughter had brought an "immense amount of love and joy" into their lives.
But Paul said there should be a levelling up between foster and kinship care, with more training, financial support and provision of counselling for the child in the future.
Foster carers are essentially paid employees of the local authority who receive a wage, which includes a financial package for the child and ongoing support from a social worker.
Kinship care has no paid leave, no financial help and no social worker.
The charity Kinship said more than seven in 10 kinship carers in England and Wales had little or no time to prepare before taking on the care of a relative's child.
Newcastle man Russell said he and his wife Sandra were given just five minutes to decide whether to give their grandson a home more than a decade ago and a decision they thought would be a temporary arrangement turned into weeks and then months.
Russell said: "It was a shock, a lot of pressure - you normally get nine months to prepare for a baby and then paid time off work to bond with them and adapt to your new life. We had five minutes' warning."
He added they had not felt prepared for a baby, which took a toll emotionally.
"I can remember going into work on several occasions where I would hide in a cupboard and cry as I couldn't do that at home," he said.
'Love won't pay bills'
Newcastle is now one of seven national kinship zones, introduced earlier this year by the government to improve support for kinship families.
Newcastle City Council's cabinet member for children and families Christine Morrissey said: "Through the pilot, eligible kinship carers in Newcastle will receive financial support aligned with foster care allowances, recognising the vital role they play in providing stable, loving homes for children who cannot live with their parents."
The move has been welcomed by Russell, who said having a financial package would have taken "stress and worry away in the early years".
He added: "We do the same job as foster carers, so why should we not receive the same financial support?
"We do it out of love not for the money. But you can't pay the bills with love."