Families call for kindness for autistic children

There is a call for islanders to be more considerate of families with neurodivergent or disabled children.

Three Guernsey mothers - Rachel, Vic and Jess - said they decided to speak out following a number of incidents where they have felt judged or heard upsetting comments about their autistic children's behaviour.

Jess, whose son Ellis is autistic, has a verbal delay and learning difficulties, said: "They [members of the public] feel irritated enough to say a small comment, but that small comment sticks with you as a parent for a long time."

The mothers said it could make them doubt themselves when parenting was "hard enough already".

Rachel said she felt some people do not understand the needs of her son Eli, who is autistic, could be different to other children.

"Sometimes people get cross, as if I'm not disciplining him but I can't do what they would do with their child because he will not understand it at all," she said.

Rachel said the negative comments stuck with her: "Every one of those goes into a backpack of negative experiences that I'm carrying, and I just don't want to add to that."

Vic said her daughter Frankie often made noises and different sounds to communicate, which has led to other children mocking her in public.

"To see your child being technically bullied and being completely unaware of it is possibly one of the most painful things to experience. It's heart-breaking," she said.

In a bid to raise awareness, Vic said she put some of her experiences on social media to help prompt parents to have conversations with their own children.

Jess said the attitude and comments could lead to parents of autistic children feeling "socially stigmatised".

"It's not the parenting journey any of us expected... there's a million tiny little battles every day that add up to being quite a big feeling of overwhelm and anxiety and stress," Jess added.

All three said they do receive support from some members of the public and it could make all the difference.

"If you do see someone out with a child with disabilities and you see them struggling, just say give them a bit of support," Vic said.

Jess said: "It's not exclusive to autism there's all different disabilities all different things that people might have going on.

"Just to take like a second longer before making a snap judgement and I would just encourage parents, schools, whoever, to just have a chat with your child".

Rachel also hopes more people can learn: "I just want more people to be aware, more people to be nice to me and to my child, so that I don't have that burden.

"So that I can get on with raising him the best possible way that I can and giving him as many opportunities that I can."

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