'Like Hilary Swank, I had a baby in my fifties'

Last week, US actor Hilary Swank announced on Instagram that she was expecting her third child in December - at the age of 52.

The congratulations flooded in, but so did the criticism, with some claiming she was too old to be having a baby.

Kelly Clarke, from Crawley, West Sussex, had her daughter at 50 through IVF and said, like Swank, she also faced backlash, even from her own family.

"They thought I was mad. My family disowned me - didn't want to know," she told BBC Radio Sussex.

"They said: 'You're going to be the oldest mum at the school gates'."

When she was 49, the former cabin crew member decided to go to Athens to have IVF using donor sperm.

"I'd been very unlucky in love throughout my lifetime and I knew time was running out for me," she said.

"I just thought it's my right as a woman. I want a baby. I want to have my own family."

Clarke gave birth to a healthy baby girl, who is now five.

"My little girl is my best friend and I can't imagine life without her," she said.

Meghan Mari, who lives in Brighton and, like Swank, gave birth to her daughter Esme last year at the age of 52, said she had a baby later on because "being queer means there's a lot more decision making. It doesn't just happen."

Mari already had a son aged 12 from a previous relationship but she and her partner Teresa wanted to have a baby together.

She said although it was difficult finding a clinic that would allow her to proceed with IVF due to her age, once she did she was "treated like a queen".

"I was not only treated with respect, but kind of admiration and awe," she said.

When she went into hospital for her planned C-section, Mari was wearing a ballgown and red lipstick.

"I danced my way to the operating theatre," she said.

"I think it's really important that all women know they have a choice: queer women, single women, people with fertility issues," Mari added.

The NHS advises women who are pregnant over the age of 40 to have consultant-led care, as some complications are more likely to develop for older mothers, such as gestational diabetes and high blood pressure. But many go on to have healthy pregnancies.

Brighton-based midwife Justine Garretty said women who decide to have a child later in life have "probably thought a lot more about it".

"You're very different in your head, and the women I know who had their babies later are really pleased that they did because they felt as if they were ready to," Garretty added.

However, she did say older parents need to prepare for it to be "really knackering".

Katie Turner from Hassocks will be 45 next month and her son Noah is nine months old.

"It's the classic thing of my thirties were focused on career and that side of things, and I just didn't happen to meet anyone that I felt I would want to have a child with," she said.

After she met her partner, who already had a daughter, the couple tried for a baby but after a few years without success, went for IVF and fell pregnant on the second round.

Although Turner was the oldest in her antenatal class by "quite a long shot" she "actually had a pretty great pregnancy".

However, she found it difficult to relax as "you were just kind of gently always reminded that the risks are higher when you're older".

She now feels "very lucky" to have her son and said it had been a "wonderful experience".

"I'd be lying if I said being the age I am doesn't play on my mind," she added.

"I sort of do the mental maths constantly of like, when he's this age, I'll be this age."

But she says she has noticed she is generally less anxious than younger mums.

"I've been through enough to know there are sometimes bigger things to worry about, you know?"

Clarke said that her age does not matter to her, or her daughter.

"It's how you feel in yourself. I'm fit, I have a very young outlook on my life. I've not once felt like the oldest mum at the school gates," she said.

Having watched her raise her daughter, Clarke said her family were now very proud of her and they are back together as a "family unit".

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