What are boundaries?

What are your personal boundaries?

This is the question that M8-E the robot is tying to figure out the answer to, with help from his classmates Milo, Emma, Josh, Tanvi and Zayn.

To help pupils explore this theme too, why not watch the video as a class to see what M8-E learns? You can then explore the activities to get them thinking critically about how to understand and set their own personal boundaries.

M8-E observes that some of the group do not like being hugged by Emma and learns that everyone has different personal boundaries about consent. The group express some of their own boundaries and Emma changes her behaviour to respect these. Joshua ends by mentioning some of his other personal boundaries.

This guide enables pupils to consider personal boundaries and how they can show respect for other people’s boundaries.

Learning objectives:

• I can identify personal boundaries and communicate these.

• I can explain the importance of respecting others’ boundaries.

• I can explain what consent is.

At the end of the film, Joshua mentions some of his other personal boundaries. Recapping this could be used to spark a number of different discussions about boundaries.

Firstly, you could use Joshua’s examples as a way to think about the personal boundaries people may have, outside of not wanting to be hugged. You could make a list as a class and, if they want to, even add pupils’ own personal boundaries to the list too.

You might notice that your pupils don’t agree with every suggestion for the list, or that their personal boundaries are not the same as Joshua’s. You could use this to spark a discussion about how and why boundaries might be different for different people. You could use Tanvi as an example of this - the boys aren’t comfortable with Emma’s morning hugs but she loves them.

This film also shows that it can be really difficult to mention to someone that their actions make you uncomfortable; however, once you have started, it is a lot easier to have open and honest conversations about other boundaries too. You could ask pupils to consider why they think Joshua finally felt comfortable enough to mention these to his friends.

Finally, you could also ask pupils to discuss how the film showed that boundaries are important. They could reflect on how uncomfortable Zayn feels when Emma hugs him, how sad it made Emma to know she had crossed a boundary or how the discussion gave Joshua the confidence to speak up about his wider boundaries too.

Reflecting on the topic from different points of view can help to show pupils the importance of discussing and respecting boundaries.

Emma crossed her friend’s personal boundaries because she forgot to ask for their consent. You could ask pupils if they can define consent or give an example of it (such as asking to borrow someone’s belongings). You may wish to remind them that consent should be asked for and agreed by everyone in a situation.

Concepts like consent might be difficult for pupils to understand without putting them into practice. You could bring this to life by labelling opposite corners of the room as ‘Consent’ and ‘Not Consent’.

You could then read out examples like the ones below, asking pupils to move to the ‘Consent’ corner if they think it has been given, or the ‘Not Consent’ corner if it has not. If they are unsure, you could suggest they stand in the middle and ask other pupils to explain their reasons to help them choose.

Examples

• Emma hugs Zayn without asking him first.

• Tanvi asks Joshua if she can borrow his ruler, and he says yes.

• Joshua can’t find his football at break time, so he takes Emma’s out of her bag instead.

• Milo’s sister knocks on Milo’s bedroom door and walks in without waiting for a response.

• When Zayn gets home from school, one of his sisters and her friend are sitting on his bed reading books.

• Tanvi’s mum knows that Tanvi likes dancing, so she signs her up for ballet lessons as a surprise.

You could deepen the conversation with pupils by discussing each scenario, and asking them to explain why they chose each corner. You could also prompt them to reflect on the characters involved and how their personal boundaries might be different with different people, such as family members instead of friends.

As Joshua, Milo and Zayn showed in the film, it can sometimes be scary to set a personal boundary, even with a friend.

You may wish to give pupils the opportunity to practise this in the classroom, by acting out some of the scenarios in the previous activity.

To help them understand what to say, you could discuss the different ways that people can ask for consent and the responses they might get. For example:

Pupils could then build on this by choosing one of the scenarios from the last activity and taking it in turn to play each of the characters. How does the scenario change when consent is asked for? What could the outcome be if it is not given?

These interactive examples can be used to help pupils think critically about the importance of respecting personal boundaries and asking for consent.

Pupils could discuss each in pairs before feeding back or choose their favourite and act it out, as in the last activity.