Support for parents and guardians

Roy: All feelings are valid.

Claire: Knowing who to trust.

Emma: Honesty is the best policy.

Harsha: He's talking to his friends, talking to his teachers.

Joy: We sit down and talk as a family.

Raoul: Somewhere around the age of seven, the questions start. About friends, about fairness, about something they've seen on a screen. Lots of those conversations will already be happening at home, on the walk to school, at the dinner table or at bedtime.

The trickier part can be finding words that make sense to them. The good news is that children don't only learn about friendships and relationships from being told. They learn by watching the people around them, and that includes us.

So, we asked some parents and carers how these conversations really go at home.

Emma: My son really looks up to his dad. I think he would also go to his older sibling when something is bothering him.

Harsha: Apart from parents, he's talking to his teachers.

Roy: Normally, Harrison will go to a trusted adult.

Joy: They will come to me, again, then they go to dad or their favourite teacher.

Harsha: We have spoken a lot about being a good friend to his friend circle. 'How would you feel if that happened to you? What would you like to hear in a situation like this?'

Joy: You need to respect your friends. You need to listen to opinions, listen more.

Claire: Making sure to celebrate differences and celebrate each other.

Raoul: Children learn relationships by watching the people around them. Role models are everywhere: at home, at school and on the screen. No one person has to be all of it.

Claire: These conversations would happen in pretty random moments, you know, usually like the kitchen when you're preparing dinner.

Roy: He will tell me about things that happen. He'll ask me questions that I feel completely unprepared for. But if I ask him directly, he often doesn't tell me this stuff.

Joy: We talk in the kitchen, we talk at the playground, side to side, in the car.

Raoul: Often, these conversations come up in everyday moments. Side by side with something else to focus on, children can feel less put on the spot. So those moments are worth making the most of.

But every child is different. Some open up best when a chat happens naturally. Others find it easier when they know a conversation is coming or when things are said clearly and simply.

There's no single right way to do this. You know your child best, so notice what works for them and build on it.

Joy: We talk about issues, there's no shying away from it, so we sit down and talk as a family.

Claire: He is much more likely to kind of bottle it all up like in school, and then explode when he gets home. We have to sort of gently tease out what the problem is.

Roy: Make sure that there's no distractions for either of us. Definitely need to pick the right time and it really needs to be one on one.

Emma : I do think that honesty is the best policy. There has been times with my children where they've asked questions about friends and family members that's caught me off guard. Don't rush it. You can come back to it at a different time when you've had time to think.

Raoul: These conversations don't need to be perfect. What matters is that they keep happening in a way that works for your family. Every conversation helps your child learn that you're someone they can come to now, and as they grow up.

And you don't have to do it alone. BBC Bitesize: People Around Us has films and articles made for you and your child to help you along the way. Watch one together and let it start the conversation.