Will The Real Wayne and Coleen Please Stand Up?

Are Coleen and Wayne real enough for The Real Rooneys?
Coleen and Wayne Rooney are having a bit of a moment. She’s taken the world by storm, following her court case with Rebekah Vardy, and coming second on I’m A Celebrity. He’s proven himself as a darn good pundit in the men’s World Cup. But are they real enough, or even interesting enough, for their own documentary?
Apparently so, according to Disney, who have given them ten episodes to let us into their world - but is it anything other than good PR?
Raven thinks that everyone’s trying to keep up with the Beckhams; Joel thinks we don’t need to hear or see how rich they are; and who, ultimately, do we actually want to see a documentary about? Here’s a clue - fire up the engines to Crinkley Bottom…

Can Jacob Elordi turn his aura into an Oscar?
Jacob Elordi has been out and about with his little purse and very nice hair at Milan Fashion Week. In between being the tallest man alive, he’s been hi-fiving his mini-me Owen Cooper, and taking pics of his girlfriend, Kendall Jenner.
He’s been running up his face card so much recently, you might have forgotten he actually has an acting career. So what do his most recent acting choices say about him?
Joel thinks the career trajectories of the Big Four of Euphoria - Jacob Elordi, Zendaya, Sydney Sweeney, and Hunter Schafer - could be different points of a compass. Raven thinks he needs to lead the next big heist film. And the biggest question of them all - is he actually cool?

Plus, listener Becky is the first to email Raven and Joel with a bone to pick about Raven’s dismissal of Pedro Pascal; hear what the director of Call Me By Your Name is doing making furniture with a high street store, and what it says about our collective taste; and Joel thinks it’s time to put respect on the name of The Avalanches.

Raven and Joel are back next Thursday.
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Welcome to the kennel of the algorithm bloodhounds, bred to sniff out the hottest takes for the chronically online. Columnist Raven Smith, and author Joel Golby, are here to provide you with their cheat sheet for what to think about culture right now. They’ll tell you what they love - but, more importantly, they’ll tell you what's a Please Don’t.

Got a hot take? Or even a hot take on Raven and Joel’s hot takes? Email ravenandjoel@bbc.co.uk

Please Don’t is a Reduced Listening production for BBC Sounds.

Producer: David Chipakupaku
Digital Producer: Christian Dametto
Assistant Producer: Annie Keates Thorpe
Executive Producer: Lily Ames
Head of Production: Dan Jackson

Audio credits:
09:28 - “The Real Rooneys” trailer - Disney+, Blast Films